EBATES!

Click the link above ^^^^ So I use my discover card a lot and get cash back bonus, but if you do online shopping and don't use shopdiscover, then you can use this website, that actually sends you a check quarterly, when you shop online. It's a good way to get some extra cash for what you're already buying... I already got $14!!

I'm posting this because If you are interested, I can earn some refer-a-friend cash if you sign up for ebates and shop! It's easy, and really, why not! :)

Enjoy.

Bridesmaid Gift Extraordinaire!

Hey All,

So about 6 Looong months ago, I asked my 6 closest friends to stand by me as bridesmaids. Using a collection of Pinterest ideas, I created the perfect little gift boxes to formally ask them each to be a bridesmaid in my wedding. I'm going to show you what I did, how I splurged, and how I saved to make something special and memorable for all of my lovely ladies!

 

Ok, So I had been looking at things like this for a awhile, and I didn't want to blow my entire wedding savings account before we really even started planning! I loved the idea of a Bridesmaid Tank, something we can wear at little events. Some special piece (in this case a bracelet), and some booze! 

1.

Tank Tops! 

Now you can go online and drop anywhere from $10 - $30+ on these bad boys... I'm going to tell you how I spent $6.50 each on these!

Hobby Lobby!!! 

I purchased Black tank tops for all of my girls at $3.50 each (I think they were on sale that week), and blingy rhinestone iron-on lettering for $2.99 (also on sale). This was a super easy task, that took about 20 minutes total!!! I have a special one for my mom, and my fiance's mom too!

2.

Personal, sweet gift.

I bought these little bracelets on sale for $9.99 each on Things' Remembered website. I got them engraved (which costed a little more), but also got a bonus gift that I'll be giving to my girls at the rehearsal dinner. These were the most expensive at about $100.00 total, but it was worth it seeing there appreciative faces!

3.

Booze!!!! 

I went to the local liquor store and picked up various liquors for my girls. Vodka, wine, and Goldschlager were some of the things that made the list. I tried to pick the girls' personal favorite, or something that we shared memories of. This wasn't too pricey, it's all about where you shop and what you get! 

4.

Alternatives to Booze/Drinkware

One of my BM's was pregnant and I got her sparkling juice, and I had to mail another one, so she got a mixer! You could do mixers all around if you wanted to save money, or have all of your girls over and drink with them! Also, I found some end of season summer shot glasses, and wine glasses that I stuck in their boxes, and wrote their names on them! They were cute and about $5.00 total.

5.

Ring Pop!

I thought this would be a cute little extra for all of my girls. A sweet treat just for them! 

6.

An emotional Card!

I busted out the cardstock and scrapbook paper to make personalized cards for each of my girls. Just thinking about all the wonderful times we'd had in the past, and asking them to be my main gals on my wedding day. I know how much work being a BM can be, and I wanted them to know how much it meant to me!!! 

7.

A sweet Container!!!

I found these at IKEA, for really cheap. They are CD boxes, and come in a pack of two for somewhere around $3.00, they're pretty sturdy (I have one that's 3+ years old) and come in several different colors. These ship well too! 

There you have it! A cute gift for those special girls in your life!!! Let me just say, this is only the beginning of cute gifts for my BMs! The Bridal Shower will yield a super awesome gift that I will give a tutorial of soon! Then the rehearsal dinner gifts are FULL of fun goodies!!! :)

Next time, I'd like to give some advice to newly engaged/soon-to-be-engaged gals that may help them when planning all of these fun, but crazy things!!!

Enjoy

~Amanda

Long Time, No Post

So as you all can imagine, my life has become incredibly and overwhelmingly busy. Sure it happens to the best of us, but I was, at one time, quite proud of this blog, keeping up with it and writing often enough.

So here is my plan to get back on track.
       Wedding Planning - fun DIYs (On the other page)
        Graduate School Living
        Other things that come my way.

Here I am just 5 months from getting married, and I haven't posted much about this, or how graduate school is going. Well, I survived my first semester, and I'm taking this current semester day-by-day. I recently went to a research conference, one that I felt incredibly out of place at amongst MDs and PhDs, there was little room for students as most people already had their degrees and were in their fields. My wedding planning is going well, but let me tell you I have a good idea for a post about advice that you think is obvious, but that you really don't think about until you're in over your head!! :) More to come later, although I think I want to outline what I wish to discuss prior to posting the next blog!!!

I also made another really cute wreath, I'll be posting some tutorials, and some info on how to be an expert meal planner in the recipe blog!

Thanks For Reading,

~Amanda

I'm terrible!!

Oh goodness, every time I think about blogging, something else pops into my head! Grad School is kicking my ass with reading and classwork, and all the extra things I'm doing that goes along with it! And then wedding planning is in full swing.

I promise promise promise, I'm going to get back into the swing of things, but for now, I'm going to post the first chapter of a book I started writing back during the summer! It's a relationship book of sorts and I hope you all like it!

One: The Cheater

First of all, let’s take a bit to discuss what is meant by ‘the cheater’ this is someone who behaves in a manner that you would be emotionally damaged by with another person. Cheating is an umbrella term for most, not simply limited to sex. Ask a man and a woman what cheating is though, and you will yield two different answers. I have always liked to think of cheating as doing anything I would not be ok with my man doing to me. Yes, that includes sex, but it also includes grinding at a bar, or excessive flirting. These are different for different couples, but in most cases, mutual respect for one’s boundaries is the way to go. Ask yourself these questions…

a.       If my significant other has sex with someone else, is this cheating?

·         What if they were intoxicated?

·         What if they confessed?

·         What if it was an accident?

b.      If my significant other is having a relationship with another person, no sex, but the subject matter of the conversation and other aspects of the relationship are more than friendly, is this cheating?

·         What if they are just texting?

·         What if they have been friends long before I came around?

These are only a few questionable actions, but you get the idea. Let’s talk about these things individually.

Sex with someone else

            By most people’s accounts, including mine, this is definitely cheating, and calls into question the validity of the cheater’s feelings for you. Think about this, can you imagine having sex with someone else? If you answered yes, you might not care for this person and whatever happens is fair game, but you certainly aren’t setting yourself up for a long-lasting and happy relationship. If you said no, good for you, but doesn’t being cheated on just suck? If you have been cheated on, then you know what it is like, and you can certainly admit to the betrayal and emotional damage it did, and in any future relationships, trust will be an issue. That being said, how you handle the cheating act and the cheater can change how you will fair in the long run, but we’ll discuss that later.

            If they tell you, were intoxicated or accidentally did it, well what does this change? If they tell you, sure they might feel guilt, but does this mean that they won’t do it again, hard to tell? If they are intoxicated, then what does that say for their character and personality that being drunk is an excuse for cheating? Being with a person who has alcohol or drug problems creates a whole other slew of problems, and can be detrimental to your own mental, physical, and emotional health. Finally, the accident excuse, all the explanation this takes is how does one accidentally have sex with another person? These things do not happen accidentally, the guilt may just take over, and this is where this excuse comes from.

            So if they sleep with someone else this is cheating, unless you’ve started an ‘open relationship’, but be sure that you are completely ok with what this means, if you are going to agree to this or suggest it, make sure it is what you want, and that you will feel no remorse or jealousy at the thought of your significant other in bed with another person. What would you, or have you done in this instance that he/she is cheating in this way?

The Relationship

            This is where some personal truth comes into play, I can admit to once being the ‘other woman’ in a situation like this. I will say now that I am not proud of what I did, but something that started out as friendship blossomed into something inappropriate and people got hurt in the process.

I had starting talking to this guy while I was in college and we had pursued each other, but for some reason, something was holding me back, and I thought being friends would be better for the both of us, this alone should have eased my mind, but due to friendly influence from friends, I felt like maybe I had made a mistake. I still liked him, but he quickly moved on and started dating another girl. I cut ties with him after that, but when he sent me a message a couple of months later, I quickly decided to see what he was up to. It started friendly, with just texting and talking about our lives, he’d ask for relationship advice even, or talk about their fights. Over time, we became really close, and I could sense a pull from the both of us, taking the casual texting to something more serious. He began texting daily, and constantly through the day, and even though I knew it was wrong, I texted back, just hoping that we could be together. He’d call me every night and we’d talk for a good twenty minutes, and I never understood how his girlfriend didn’t know. I began to realize that he was using me as an emotional aspect of his highly sexual relationship, and I began to back off, I wanted a relationship with him, but he hadn’t made any moves to end things with her, and I felt bad about what I was doing.

One day, I texted him and told him that we could be friends, but nothing more while he was in a relationship, needless to say, the boundaries weren’t well laid out, and it did not work. My friends knew what was going on, and although one cautioned me, no one smacked me upside the head, and told me that I was not being smart. I was so caught up in myself I did lose sight in the girl who loved him for over a year at this point. Finally, one day our secret was out, she read a text from him that said he wanted to be with me and she ended things with him. I felt like a horrible person, and one of my nosy friends talked to her and tried to tell me she harbored no ill feelings toward me but I will never believe that. Less than a week later, he called me and said that they were going to get back together, but he couldn’t talk to me, those were the stipulations of them getting back together, so he ended things, and I didn’t talk to him for about a year. I completely cut him out of my life, deleted pictures and any messages. This was my way of coping and moving on (we will be discussing this later).  

Ten months passed and I had made no moves to contact him, but then one of our mutual friends informed me that he broke up with his girlfriend, the same one we had wronged, and that he wanted to talk to me. I told our friend that he could do what he wanted. We started talking, and things were a little different, there was still this pull between us, but he was emotional from the break-up. When I went home from college we went on two dates, two days in a row, and on our second date, he actually stepped outside for ten minutes to take a call from her. Looking back on everything, I am certain he used me to make her jealous because right after our second date, they got back together. I was upset, but honestly it’s probably the best thing that ever happened to me because two months later, I met the only man I ever have and ever will love. Interestingly enough, on my one year anniversary, they broke up again because he cheated again, and he friend requested me on Facebook, needless to say, I declined.

This story is certainly not one of my best and brightest moments, but I’ve learned from it, and I allowed it to shape some of the ways I view relationships, as well as how I help others with their relationships. In this case, if someone did this to me, I couldn’t forgive them, and I would certainly consider it cheating. I may not be the conventional method of cheating, but that doesn’t change the hurt it causes, and that is what I think constitutes cheating. In the case that this is a good friend, or they have only been texting, it doesn’t matter. If someone is having another relationship, then why drag you into this and cause all this pain.

I was cheated on… What now?

            Ok, so someone you loved and cared about cheated on you, what should you do? No two situations are the same, but you must decide how you are going to handle this and how it will affect you. I have always said that if I was ever cheated on I would end things, no doubts and no questions, you might agree, or you might feel differently about this. Obviously if you have set feelings on what you would do, then look no further than to yourself, it is to the people who question what they should do that I am targeting for this part of the chapter. Here are a few questions to ask yourself, whether you are in a relationship or not. (Fill in the blanks, so you have something concrete to look at)

1.      What do you consider cheating?

2.      Should all of the above offenses result in the same response? Or do some have more consequences than others?

3.      What are those responses? What would you do if you were faced with these? (This is important to know what you think is the acceptable response, breaking up, or some other punishment)

If you chose to remain in a relationship, then the next questions are for you.

4.      Will you be able to forgive the offense?

5.      Will you be able to trust again?

6.      How will you go about moving forward?

You’ve answered the questions, now what?

            I am going to go ahead and answer these questions for myself and discuss the whys, and if these make sense to you, and you can concur, then consider inserting this into your own decisions.

1.      What do you consider cheating?

You’ve already read my definition, but I think cheating is something that hurts your significant other, something that you wouldn’t do to them, and something that is inappropriate with another person (Sex, texting, dancing, kissing, excessive flirting, etc.).

2.      Should all of the above offenses result in the same response? Or do some have more consequences than others?

Serious cheating offenses like sex and other emotional relationships should have the same punishments, the grey areas are at my discretion, I would be upset with some of the other things, but might not be so quick to end things.

3.      What are those responses? What would you do if you were faced with these? (This is important to know what you think is the acceptable response, breaking up, or some other punishment)

Cheating with sex or emotional relationships should result in the end of the relationship, dancing and flirting would result in some anger, but not an ending.

4.      Will you be able to forgive the offense?

I wouldn’t be able to forgive someone who would so blatantly disrespect and hurt me as to have sex or some other relationship with another person. Since I wouldn’t be able to forgive, the relationship would suffer and eventually end.

5.      Will you be able to trust again?

I couldn’t trust that he wouldn’t cheat again, and that alone would be detrimental to our relationship.

6.      How will you go about moving forward?

I cut ties in a relationship and forget about the person. I do my best not to generalize in new relationships and I take it as a learning experience for the next guy.

            So now you see where I’m at… Knowing how you would react and feel about these things happening to you can make a world of difference if they do. Having a set plan and knowing yourself can make getting over this so much easier. I know how I would react, which is why I wouldn’t continue to pursue a relationship after a serious cheating offense. This is where so many people run into problems and this is where I want to help you make some strong decisions in order to achieve a healthy relationship.

            Feelings of anger, distrust, or hurt can ruin a relationship. If you decide to continue a relationship after being cheated on, you need to set some ground rules. Explain to your partner how you are feeling and that there are steps that need to be put into place so you can move forward. Explain that you do not yet forgive and you haven’t moved forward until you actually do. Discuss the event in detail if you feel you need that for closure and be mindful of any future suspicious activity. With all of that being said, it is clear that communication is very important between the two of you. You need it to come to terms and to accept, and your partner owes that to you as the cause of these feelings. Don’t lie to them about your feelings and don’t make promises you can’t keep. Take your time and allow yourself to feel anger or sadness. If you say you’ve forgiven when you haven’t, you’re only causing problems. Don’t try to excuse their unfaithful behavior or blame yourself, they did it, there aren’t excuses and it is NOT your fault. If you get into the mistake of saying you’ve forgiven the behavior when you haven’t, don’t bring it up because every time you do, they’ll be upset that you’re harping on it. If you’ve realized you aren’t over it, try journaling or talking to a close friend about it. Journaling can get your feelings out into the open without ever having to let your partner read it and can allow you maul over the emotions and feelings you have, and talking to a friend can make you feel supported and help you make some decisions.

            MOST IMPORTANTLY, WHEN YOU SAY YOU’VE FORGIVEN, ACTUALLY FORGIVE. This is the only way to make the relationship healthy and to bounce back from this. However, if you find yourself in constant sadness and confusion over what your partner did, it might be right to end things and move on to another person, even though it is very difficult to do.

Long Time No Blog!

Hey Loyal Readers!

So it's been a busy couple of weeks since I started Graduate School and started planning my very own wedding. So today, I wanted to go ahead and give a tiny update before my classes start for the day.

So the parking situation is no longer a huge problem for me because I've been getting up and going just a little earlier and I am now able to find a spot that is closer, which means more time for work!

Wedding planning is going splendidly, as I have now picked out my wedding venue and ceremony space as well as asked all my girls to be in my bridal party. I have also booked an awesome photographer and now it's really chill time for me in the wedding department.  I've really gotten a lot done in the past 3 weeks since Scott proposed and that will pay off as exams are starting here in school. So far, I'm happy and excited about the wedding and all the things that go along with them!

Either Today or Friday, I'm going to be posting some super cute 'Will you be my bridesmaid?' boxes that I gave to all of my lovely ladies!!! That will be posted on the Craft page, so be on the lookout for those. I'm also going to be posting an idea for all those people who are super organized or want to get more organized! My monthly menus! I did this before school started based off of our schedules so that no matter what's going on, we know what's for dinner every day and what to buy at the grocery store each week. That will be posted later on the Recipe page.

Until Later!

Thanks For Reading!

~Amanda

Graduate School

Hello All,

So gradute school is basically exactly how I thought it would be... A more serious form of college. More reading, more professionalism, more learning... It's also easier to make friends since you're with the same 10 people every week, unlike college where you rarely know who you're taking classes with. I'm actually doing the reading and enjoying some of it (but not most) and I think I'm getting along fine. I'm getting things together to get started in my research lab, which is a bit intimidating because I don't really know what I'm doing exactly and excelling in the statistics course (thank you, Dr. Ward). Overall, it's pretty normal and I don't really have much to report at this time, short of complain about other facility problems here at EMU.

Parking:
   I thought Miami had bad parking, but here it's almost impossible to find a parking spot. My first day of class I left 30 minutes early (it takes 5 minutes to get here), and was 10 minutes late to my first class. Shame on ME! I then decided leaving an hour early would be good, but knew from other students that 10am was the worst time, which put me leaving 1.5 hours before class, not a big deal though, because I have an office and lots of reading I could do to pass the time. Today however, I leave at 9:30 (1.5 hours before my class) and it took me 45 minutes to find a spot maybe a mile away. Terrible. Not to mention that I have a Staff parking pass... I talked to a faculty member and he said that they have the same problem unless you want to pay for a premium pass, which I would if I could!  I just think it would be of interest to the EMU parking division to do a better job with this! When the 1500 space parking garage is full at 9am, maybe you need to think about building something else, or giving out less parking passes. This is one thing that I miss at Miami... If I was a graduate student there, I'd get a pass, and basically be able to park right in front of the building.  Maybe ticketing will lessen the cars, maybe I'll have to get here even earlier. Choices must be made!

Overall Facility Use:
    Hearing that EMU faculty were excited to get certain things for research kind of alarmed me because these things seemed like they should already be there. An observation room for instance... Also, there are no computer labs in the psychology wing of the science building... If you want to have access to SPSS (psychological statiscal data program) you have to go to the library or hope that the lab you work in has a computer available. There isn't remote access, and homework for that class due weekly. Overall, it's just a transition for me, and there is a clear distinction in the quality of facilities from my undergrad to my graduate school, but I pay the same here, as I did there...


Other news:
    Next time I am going to discuss bridesmaid boxes. Basically, presents for my bridesmaids to ask them if they will be my bridesmaid... I am not posting this yet because those lucky girls haven't yet recieved anything... :)

Thanks For Reading

~Amanda

Big Exciting News!

So, I know it's been almost two weeks, but I had a lot of big things happen since the 26th!

Graduate School:

         Well, my first week is officially complete, and I am officially exhausted. I've already read over 100 pages, and I still have at least 100 more to do this weekend! My classes seem fun enough, and I'm excited to start getting into some things, as well as navigating graduate school with some other BIG things that will be happening in the next year.

I KNOW, you want to know what I'm talking about! I can imagine a school full of children, all raising their hands saying "Ooh, Oooh, Amanda, Pick me! Pick me!' (these children all in my head of course). Those of you who know me personally, probably already know the news, as it has be dispersed through facebook, but those of you who follow my blog, do not... Okay! I'll stop beating around the bush and just tell you all!

I'M ENGAGED!

So this may not be super exciting news for you, but for me... I was completely surprised and so excited for this to happen! 

What does this mean? 

     Obviously, aside from me getting married next year, it means a couple things for the blog. If you like weddings, are planning a wedding, or have planned a wedding and enjoyed it, you're in luck because I'm going to be keeping you all updated on my planning along with graduate school, to show you how I do it... If you hate weddings, hate planning weddings... Sorry! I have always loved weddings, had a huge wedding pinboard on Pinterest, and now it's time to see what kind of things I can bring to life as I make my way into this madness! 

Apparently on June 17, 2013, Scott decided he was going to propose by the time I started graduate school. He kept a journal from that day on with all of his ideas, and all the things he had to hide from me. He called this book, 'The Book of Lies'. Once he decided, he took major steps to get everything together, going ring shopping with some of my friends, having dinner with my parents, and of course planning the entire proposal, which went a little something like this...

Scott and I were back in our hometowns for Labor Day Weekend; he had my mother take me out for a girl's day on Friday, which included manicures, pedicures, and haircuts, which was followed up by a cookout with Scott's dad and their family on Saturday, and then church with Scott's mother and lunch with them on Sunday. We then proceeded to try to visit a few of our friends who went to Miami with us and they ended up bailing on us right after we got there. I was a little annoyed, but Scott suggested walking around campus and taking pictures. I wasn't really feeling it, but he convinced me to at least go to the Upham Arch to kiss him and take a picture there. (Folklore says that if you kiss someone under the arch, you will marry him, Scott and I had kissed under this twice before), when we got to the arch, there was a man with a fancy camera hanging out, and I thought we might be interrupting someone's photo shoot or something, he convinced me to take one photo with him and the photographer offered to take it for us. When he saw how crappy our camera was, he offered to use his camera and email us the shots, since his clients weren't there yet. I happily agreed and he took our picture kissing under the arch. Then Scott reaches down to 'fix his shoelace' and I get all annoyed because he's tricked me like this a few times, but this time was real, as the ring box was hiding in his sock, he got down on one knee and asked me to marry him! I said "Yes!" with no hesitation and then Scott introduced the photographer as an old friend of his named Josh, they worked at a summer camp many years back, and Josh was going to give us a mini-engagement photo shoot around Miami's Campus, which was perfect because this is really where it all started.

After the photo shoot was over, I was in a daze. I couldn’t help but constantly stare at my ring, “He Listened!,” I thought, getting my exactly the ring I wanted, a beautiful round diamond with a halo and infinity band. It just didn’t really set in because I had been sitting there throwing hints around, showing him the ring I wanted and complaining about it for months, thinking he was going to wait forever to finally propose. We walked around taking photos and I was as giddy as a school girl, thinking about all the people we had to call, asking Scott who already knew about the proposal. He never alluded to anyone in particular, saying people knew it was going to happen, but not when. He said he would explain it all when we got to dinner with two of our friends, saying they probably would want to hear the story also, and he didn’t want to keep retelling it. I was still asking him questions, and I guessed that my parents knew, at least, because of the impromptu beauty day I had with my mother.

  We got to the Olive Garden earlier than our friends and got seated, and I ordered a drink while Scott went to the restroom. Little did I know, Scott was actually not done planning at all! The manager came over when Scott got back and said he had actually already sat our friends and that they were at another table, so we were moving to another table, when the manager leads us to this set of double doors and when they open the door, 50 people are all standing there yelling surprise. All of our closest friends and families are there to celebrate our engagement together. I basically start hyperventilating almost in tears because of how amazing this has all been. He listened to the things I wanted when he proposed and that was the most important thing for me. I can say I wouldn't have had it any other way! It was the perfect proposal for me, everything I've ever wanted and more! Plus, the ring is amazing! 

So there you have it, the fabulous story of my proposal! Hope you've enjoyed it! Below are some things I'm working on, and things I may touch on in the future!!! Enjoy!

All thanks to pinterest!

Thanks For Reading.

~Amanda