The Integral Part of Family.

It's funny that I'm writing again to you, you readers... Although sparse, or even non-existent, you make me feel like I'm being heard I guess. Maybe my constant ramblings will annoy and Amy will have to venture away from the blog so people will read, but maybe I ring some bells.

It's an interesting balance when you are in a relationship, a serious relationship, that is. Balancing my family time with his family time is difficult, especially on holidays. Like this past weekend, and Father's Day. So my boyfriend's parents are both divorced and remarried, so he has the step-dad he's lived with for most of his life, and he has his father who has served admirably in the military for all of Scott's life. Then we have my dad, who I love dearly. Honestly, its really hard to get something figured out so we can see everyone and unfortunately, this year, I miss out on seeing my dad on Father's day. I did get to see him the day before, but I still felt horrible about missing Father's day with my own dad, but spending time with Scott's dads. This is something that was very difficult for me, not just last Sunday, but also on Thanksgiving, when we went with his mom to Tennessee. Or on Christmas when we basically had to run around all day, making for a busy and dreadful experience. With all of that being said, I think that this is super important for a serious relationship. Luckily, our families all live in a triangle each 1 hour away from each other, but no matter the distance compromise and equal footing is very important in this relationship.

So what was the verdict?

When our first Thanksgiving came around, Scott told me that he had missed Thanksgiving with his family because he had to work the past 4 years, and it was really important to his mother that he go this year, since he didn't have to work. I was distraught about this, and we considered going our separate ways for this holiday, but I couldn't imagine a holiday without him. So I asked my mother, and I am so fortunate to have such understanding parents and they simply asked that I be there for Black Friday shopping, naturally I couldn't turn this down, and we made it work. Then at Christmas it was a little more difficult. We absolutely had to see everyone, no exceptions. We had to make some calls, have people adjust the schedules for us, but we managed spending Christmas morning with his dad, then going to my parents, then to his spend time with his mom, and finally back to my house for a family dinner that I didn't want to miss.

Take Home Note.

I think the moral of this rambling story is that a part of growing up is making those compromises. Now Scott has said numerous times, that when we have children, this will not be our Christmas, running around driving all the time, but instead people will come to us. In any case, I think we've worked this out quite well and I'm looking forward to seeing how holidays work when we're living in Michigan, at least 3 hours away from our family. Luckily, they all have a bed we can stay in for a weekend. Gosh, I love our parents.

It's funny that this started out talking about how important it is to get along with your significant other's family, and instead turned into a monologue about holidays... Hmmm maybe next time I'll stay on topic.


If you're out there, leave a comment so I know! :)

~Amanda