I'm terrible!!

Oh goodness, every time I think about blogging, something else pops into my head! Grad School is kicking my ass with reading and classwork, and all the extra things I'm doing that goes along with it! And then wedding planning is in full swing.

I promise promise promise, I'm going to get back into the swing of things, but for now, I'm going to post the first chapter of a book I started writing back during the summer! It's a relationship book of sorts and I hope you all like it!

One: The Cheater

First of all, let’s take a bit to discuss what is meant by ‘the cheater’ this is someone who behaves in a manner that you would be emotionally damaged by with another person. Cheating is an umbrella term for most, not simply limited to sex. Ask a man and a woman what cheating is though, and you will yield two different answers. I have always liked to think of cheating as doing anything I would not be ok with my man doing to me. Yes, that includes sex, but it also includes grinding at a bar, or excessive flirting. These are different for different couples, but in most cases, mutual respect for one’s boundaries is the way to go. Ask yourself these questions…

a.       If my significant other has sex with someone else, is this cheating?

·         What if they were intoxicated?

·         What if they confessed?

·         What if it was an accident?

b.      If my significant other is having a relationship with another person, no sex, but the subject matter of the conversation and other aspects of the relationship are more than friendly, is this cheating?

·         What if they are just texting?

·         What if they have been friends long before I came around?

These are only a few questionable actions, but you get the idea. Let’s talk about these things individually.

Sex with someone else

            By most people’s accounts, including mine, this is definitely cheating, and calls into question the validity of the cheater’s feelings for you. Think about this, can you imagine having sex with someone else? If you answered yes, you might not care for this person and whatever happens is fair game, but you certainly aren’t setting yourself up for a long-lasting and happy relationship. If you said no, good for you, but doesn’t being cheated on just suck? If you have been cheated on, then you know what it is like, and you can certainly admit to the betrayal and emotional damage it did, and in any future relationships, trust will be an issue. That being said, how you handle the cheating act and the cheater can change how you will fair in the long run, but we’ll discuss that later.

            If they tell you, were intoxicated or accidentally did it, well what does this change? If they tell you, sure they might feel guilt, but does this mean that they won’t do it again, hard to tell? If they are intoxicated, then what does that say for their character and personality that being drunk is an excuse for cheating? Being with a person who has alcohol or drug problems creates a whole other slew of problems, and can be detrimental to your own mental, physical, and emotional health. Finally, the accident excuse, all the explanation this takes is how does one accidentally have sex with another person? These things do not happen accidentally, the guilt may just take over, and this is where this excuse comes from.

            So if they sleep with someone else this is cheating, unless you’ve started an ‘open relationship’, but be sure that you are completely ok with what this means, if you are going to agree to this or suggest it, make sure it is what you want, and that you will feel no remorse or jealousy at the thought of your significant other in bed with another person. What would you, or have you done in this instance that he/she is cheating in this way?

The Relationship

            This is where some personal truth comes into play, I can admit to once being the ‘other woman’ in a situation like this. I will say now that I am not proud of what I did, but something that started out as friendship blossomed into something inappropriate and people got hurt in the process.

I had starting talking to this guy while I was in college and we had pursued each other, but for some reason, something was holding me back, and I thought being friends would be better for the both of us, this alone should have eased my mind, but due to friendly influence from friends, I felt like maybe I had made a mistake. I still liked him, but he quickly moved on and started dating another girl. I cut ties with him after that, but when he sent me a message a couple of months later, I quickly decided to see what he was up to. It started friendly, with just texting and talking about our lives, he’d ask for relationship advice even, or talk about their fights. Over time, we became really close, and I could sense a pull from the both of us, taking the casual texting to something more serious. He began texting daily, and constantly through the day, and even though I knew it was wrong, I texted back, just hoping that we could be together. He’d call me every night and we’d talk for a good twenty minutes, and I never understood how his girlfriend didn’t know. I began to realize that he was using me as an emotional aspect of his highly sexual relationship, and I began to back off, I wanted a relationship with him, but he hadn’t made any moves to end things with her, and I felt bad about what I was doing.

One day, I texted him and told him that we could be friends, but nothing more while he was in a relationship, needless to say, the boundaries weren’t well laid out, and it did not work. My friends knew what was going on, and although one cautioned me, no one smacked me upside the head, and told me that I was not being smart. I was so caught up in myself I did lose sight in the girl who loved him for over a year at this point. Finally, one day our secret was out, she read a text from him that said he wanted to be with me and she ended things with him. I felt like a horrible person, and one of my nosy friends talked to her and tried to tell me she harbored no ill feelings toward me but I will never believe that. Less than a week later, he called me and said that they were going to get back together, but he couldn’t talk to me, those were the stipulations of them getting back together, so he ended things, and I didn’t talk to him for about a year. I completely cut him out of my life, deleted pictures and any messages. This was my way of coping and moving on (we will be discussing this later).  

Ten months passed and I had made no moves to contact him, but then one of our mutual friends informed me that he broke up with his girlfriend, the same one we had wronged, and that he wanted to talk to me. I told our friend that he could do what he wanted. We started talking, and things were a little different, there was still this pull between us, but he was emotional from the break-up. When I went home from college we went on two dates, two days in a row, and on our second date, he actually stepped outside for ten minutes to take a call from her. Looking back on everything, I am certain he used me to make her jealous because right after our second date, they got back together. I was upset, but honestly it’s probably the best thing that ever happened to me because two months later, I met the only man I ever have and ever will love. Interestingly enough, on my one year anniversary, they broke up again because he cheated again, and he friend requested me on Facebook, needless to say, I declined.

This story is certainly not one of my best and brightest moments, but I’ve learned from it, and I allowed it to shape some of the ways I view relationships, as well as how I help others with their relationships. In this case, if someone did this to me, I couldn’t forgive them, and I would certainly consider it cheating. I may not be the conventional method of cheating, but that doesn’t change the hurt it causes, and that is what I think constitutes cheating. In the case that this is a good friend, or they have only been texting, it doesn’t matter. If someone is having another relationship, then why drag you into this and cause all this pain.

I was cheated on… What now?

            Ok, so someone you loved and cared about cheated on you, what should you do? No two situations are the same, but you must decide how you are going to handle this and how it will affect you. I have always said that if I was ever cheated on I would end things, no doubts and no questions, you might agree, or you might feel differently about this. Obviously if you have set feelings on what you would do, then look no further than to yourself, it is to the people who question what they should do that I am targeting for this part of the chapter. Here are a few questions to ask yourself, whether you are in a relationship or not. (Fill in the blanks, so you have something concrete to look at)

1.      What do you consider cheating?

2.      Should all of the above offenses result in the same response? Or do some have more consequences than others?

3.      What are those responses? What would you do if you were faced with these? (This is important to know what you think is the acceptable response, breaking up, or some other punishment)

If you chose to remain in a relationship, then the next questions are for you.

4.      Will you be able to forgive the offense?

5.      Will you be able to trust again?

6.      How will you go about moving forward?

You’ve answered the questions, now what?

            I am going to go ahead and answer these questions for myself and discuss the whys, and if these make sense to you, and you can concur, then consider inserting this into your own decisions.

1.      What do you consider cheating?

You’ve already read my definition, but I think cheating is something that hurts your significant other, something that you wouldn’t do to them, and something that is inappropriate with another person (Sex, texting, dancing, kissing, excessive flirting, etc.).

2.      Should all of the above offenses result in the same response? Or do some have more consequences than others?

Serious cheating offenses like sex and other emotional relationships should have the same punishments, the grey areas are at my discretion, I would be upset with some of the other things, but might not be so quick to end things.

3.      What are those responses? What would you do if you were faced with these? (This is important to know what you think is the acceptable response, breaking up, or some other punishment)

Cheating with sex or emotional relationships should result in the end of the relationship, dancing and flirting would result in some anger, but not an ending.

4.      Will you be able to forgive the offense?

I wouldn’t be able to forgive someone who would so blatantly disrespect and hurt me as to have sex or some other relationship with another person. Since I wouldn’t be able to forgive, the relationship would suffer and eventually end.

5.      Will you be able to trust again?

I couldn’t trust that he wouldn’t cheat again, and that alone would be detrimental to our relationship.

6.      How will you go about moving forward?

I cut ties in a relationship and forget about the person. I do my best not to generalize in new relationships and I take it as a learning experience for the next guy.

            So now you see where I’m at… Knowing how you would react and feel about these things happening to you can make a world of difference if they do. Having a set plan and knowing yourself can make getting over this so much easier. I know how I would react, which is why I wouldn’t continue to pursue a relationship after a serious cheating offense. This is where so many people run into problems and this is where I want to help you make some strong decisions in order to achieve a healthy relationship.

            Feelings of anger, distrust, or hurt can ruin a relationship. If you decide to continue a relationship after being cheated on, you need to set some ground rules. Explain to your partner how you are feeling and that there are steps that need to be put into place so you can move forward. Explain that you do not yet forgive and you haven’t moved forward until you actually do. Discuss the event in detail if you feel you need that for closure and be mindful of any future suspicious activity. With all of that being said, it is clear that communication is very important between the two of you. You need it to come to terms and to accept, and your partner owes that to you as the cause of these feelings. Don’t lie to them about your feelings and don’t make promises you can’t keep. Take your time and allow yourself to feel anger or sadness. If you say you’ve forgiven when you haven’t, you’re only causing problems. Don’t try to excuse their unfaithful behavior or blame yourself, they did it, there aren’t excuses and it is NOT your fault. If you get into the mistake of saying you’ve forgiven the behavior when you haven’t, don’t bring it up because every time you do, they’ll be upset that you’re harping on it. If you’ve realized you aren’t over it, try journaling or talking to a close friend about it. Journaling can get your feelings out into the open without ever having to let your partner read it and can allow you maul over the emotions and feelings you have, and talking to a friend can make you feel supported and help you make some decisions.

            MOST IMPORTANTLY, WHEN YOU SAY YOU’VE FORGIVEN, ACTUALLY FORGIVE. This is the only way to make the relationship healthy and to bounce back from this. However, if you find yourself in constant sadness and confusion over what your partner did, it might be right to end things and move on to another person, even though it is very difficult to do.

Long Time No Blog!

Hey Loyal Readers!

So it's been a busy couple of weeks since I started Graduate School and started planning my very own wedding. So today, I wanted to go ahead and give a tiny update before my classes start for the day.

So the parking situation is no longer a huge problem for me because I've been getting up and going just a little earlier and I am now able to find a spot that is closer, which means more time for work!

Wedding planning is going splendidly, as I have now picked out my wedding venue and ceremony space as well as asked all my girls to be in my bridal party. I have also booked an awesome photographer and now it's really chill time for me in the wedding department.  I've really gotten a lot done in the past 3 weeks since Scott proposed and that will pay off as exams are starting here in school. So far, I'm happy and excited about the wedding and all the things that go along with them!

Either Today or Friday, I'm going to be posting some super cute 'Will you be my bridesmaid?' boxes that I gave to all of my lovely ladies!!! That will be posted on the Craft page, so be on the lookout for those. I'm also going to be posting an idea for all those people who are super organized or want to get more organized! My monthly menus! I did this before school started based off of our schedules so that no matter what's going on, we know what's for dinner every day and what to buy at the grocery store each week. That will be posted later on the Recipe page.

Until Later!

Thanks For Reading!

~Amanda

Graduate School

Hello All,

So gradute school is basically exactly how I thought it would be... A more serious form of college. More reading, more professionalism, more learning... It's also easier to make friends since you're with the same 10 people every week, unlike college where you rarely know who you're taking classes with. I'm actually doing the reading and enjoying some of it (but not most) and I think I'm getting along fine. I'm getting things together to get started in my research lab, which is a bit intimidating because I don't really know what I'm doing exactly and excelling in the statistics course (thank you, Dr. Ward). Overall, it's pretty normal and I don't really have much to report at this time, short of complain about other facility problems here at EMU.

Parking:
   I thought Miami had bad parking, but here it's almost impossible to find a parking spot. My first day of class I left 30 minutes early (it takes 5 minutes to get here), and was 10 minutes late to my first class. Shame on ME! I then decided leaving an hour early would be good, but knew from other students that 10am was the worst time, which put me leaving 1.5 hours before class, not a big deal though, because I have an office and lots of reading I could do to pass the time. Today however, I leave at 9:30 (1.5 hours before my class) and it took me 45 minutes to find a spot maybe a mile away. Terrible. Not to mention that I have a Staff parking pass... I talked to a faculty member and he said that they have the same problem unless you want to pay for a premium pass, which I would if I could!  I just think it would be of interest to the EMU parking division to do a better job with this! When the 1500 space parking garage is full at 9am, maybe you need to think about building something else, or giving out less parking passes. This is one thing that I miss at Miami... If I was a graduate student there, I'd get a pass, and basically be able to park right in front of the building.  Maybe ticketing will lessen the cars, maybe I'll have to get here even earlier. Choices must be made!

Overall Facility Use:
    Hearing that EMU faculty were excited to get certain things for research kind of alarmed me because these things seemed like they should already be there. An observation room for instance... Also, there are no computer labs in the psychology wing of the science building... If you want to have access to SPSS (psychological statiscal data program) you have to go to the library or hope that the lab you work in has a computer available. There isn't remote access, and homework for that class due weekly. Overall, it's just a transition for me, and there is a clear distinction in the quality of facilities from my undergrad to my graduate school, but I pay the same here, as I did there...


Other news:
    Next time I am going to discuss bridesmaid boxes. Basically, presents for my bridesmaids to ask them if they will be my bridesmaid... I am not posting this yet because those lucky girls haven't yet recieved anything... :)

Thanks For Reading

~Amanda

Big Exciting News!

So, I know it's been almost two weeks, but I had a lot of big things happen since the 26th!

Graduate School:

         Well, my first week is officially complete, and I am officially exhausted. I've already read over 100 pages, and I still have at least 100 more to do this weekend! My classes seem fun enough, and I'm excited to start getting into some things, as well as navigating graduate school with some other BIG things that will be happening in the next year.

I KNOW, you want to know what I'm talking about! I can imagine a school full of children, all raising their hands saying "Ooh, Oooh, Amanda, Pick me! Pick me!' (these children all in my head of course). Those of you who know me personally, probably already know the news, as it has be dispersed through facebook, but those of you who follow my blog, do not... Okay! I'll stop beating around the bush and just tell you all!

I'M ENGAGED!

So this may not be super exciting news for you, but for me... I was completely surprised and so excited for this to happen! 

What does this mean? 

     Obviously, aside from me getting married next year, it means a couple things for the blog. If you like weddings, are planning a wedding, or have planned a wedding and enjoyed it, you're in luck because I'm going to be keeping you all updated on my planning along with graduate school, to show you how I do it... If you hate weddings, hate planning weddings... Sorry! I have always loved weddings, had a huge wedding pinboard on Pinterest, and now it's time to see what kind of things I can bring to life as I make my way into this madness! 

Apparently on June 17, 2013, Scott decided he was going to propose by the time I started graduate school. He kept a journal from that day on with all of his ideas, and all the things he had to hide from me. He called this book, 'The Book of Lies'. Once he decided, he took major steps to get everything together, going ring shopping with some of my friends, having dinner with my parents, and of course planning the entire proposal, which went a little something like this...

Scott and I were back in our hometowns for Labor Day Weekend; he had my mother take me out for a girl's day on Friday, which included manicures, pedicures, and haircuts, which was followed up by a cookout with Scott's dad and their family on Saturday, and then church with Scott's mother and lunch with them on Sunday. We then proceeded to try to visit a few of our friends who went to Miami with us and they ended up bailing on us right after we got there. I was a little annoyed, but Scott suggested walking around campus and taking pictures. I wasn't really feeling it, but he convinced me to at least go to the Upham Arch to kiss him and take a picture there. (Folklore says that if you kiss someone under the arch, you will marry him, Scott and I had kissed under this twice before), when we got to the arch, there was a man with a fancy camera hanging out, and I thought we might be interrupting someone's photo shoot or something, he convinced me to take one photo with him and the photographer offered to take it for us. When he saw how crappy our camera was, he offered to use his camera and email us the shots, since his clients weren't there yet. I happily agreed and he took our picture kissing under the arch. Then Scott reaches down to 'fix his shoelace' and I get all annoyed because he's tricked me like this a few times, but this time was real, as the ring box was hiding in his sock, he got down on one knee and asked me to marry him! I said "Yes!" with no hesitation and then Scott introduced the photographer as an old friend of his named Josh, they worked at a summer camp many years back, and Josh was going to give us a mini-engagement photo shoot around Miami's Campus, which was perfect because this is really where it all started.

After the photo shoot was over, I was in a daze. I couldn’t help but constantly stare at my ring, “He Listened!,” I thought, getting my exactly the ring I wanted, a beautiful round diamond with a halo and infinity band. It just didn’t really set in because I had been sitting there throwing hints around, showing him the ring I wanted and complaining about it for months, thinking he was going to wait forever to finally propose. We walked around taking photos and I was as giddy as a school girl, thinking about all the people we had to call, asking Scott who already knew about the proposal. He never alluded to anyone in particular, saying people knew it was going to happen, but not when. He said he would explain it all when we got to dinner with two of our friends, saying they probably would want to hear the story also, and he didn’t want to keep retelling it. I was still asking him questions, and I guessed that my parents knew, at least, because of the impromptu beauty day I had with my mother.

  We got to the Olive Garden earlier than our friends and got seated, and I ordered a drink while Scott went to the restroom. Little did I know, Scott was actually not done planning at all! The manager came over when Scott got back and said he had actually already sat our friends and that they were at another table, so we were moving to another table, when the manager leads us to this set of double doors and when they open the door, 50 people are all standing there yelling surprise. All of our closest friends and families are there to celebrate our engagement together. I basically start hyperventilating almost in tears because of how amazing this has all been. He listened to the things I wanted when he proposed and that was the most important thing for me. I can say I wouldn't have had it any other way! It was the perfect proposal for me, everything I've ever wanted and more! Plus, the ring is amazing! 

So there you have it, the fabulous story of my proposal! Hope you've enjoyed it! Below are some things I'm working on, and things I may touch on in the future!!! Enjoy!

All thanks to pinterest!

Thanks For Reading.

~Amanda

The Crushing feeling of reality

If you are a recent college graduate like me, have you taken a look at your student loans? Or have you pretended to be blissfully unaware of the debt that is now looming over you? I've been somewhat proactive about looking at my future debt, but haven't done much else with it. I regret not paying on the interest when I'd get those tiny $100 bills offering me the option to pay the interest that had accrued during the previous year of school. Now my interest is well over $1,000 and I wondered what it would be like otherwise? My debt is looming over me, guaranteeing to be close to $90,000 after I get my masters, and at this point, what am I supposed to do about it? It's funny because when I was in undergraduate, I paid at least $5,000 out-of-pocket each year for tuition in addition to the stafford loans. This upcoming year, tuition is cheaper than it was at my undergraduate, so loans cover the entire sum of the tuition. That doesn't make me feel much better. I'm sitting here, going to be basically taking a pay cut in half of what I made on my taxes last year, and supposed to get by as an adult, with more expenses than ever before. I have to pay for rent, internet, gas, electricity, and anything extra I might need, like textbooks or groceries. Now I admit, I am very lucky. I don't pay my own phone bill, car insurance, medical insurance, or really any of that stuff, but life is still very tight for me. This semester I am getting a refund from my student loans because I wasn't sure how much tuition was going to be for me due to some very large discrepancies on the school's website. With this refund, I'd love to put a cushion between me and homelessness, but I am plagued with the very real issue of wanting to get a head start on my loans. I'd love to push that debt down $10,000, and start paying on the parent plus loan that has the highest interest,although I think with some changes that were made to the student loan policies, one of the Stafford loans has the highest interest rate. In any case, I'm just conflicted. Use the money to pay off student loans, or use the money to live. I think I'm going to try to be smart and start paying on those loans. I think in the long run it will help me out, and if I'm really lucky, I can get an assistantship in the upcoming semester and I'll have to pay very little for school, and take all the extra loan money that I've already accepted, and just use that to pay off the highest interest loan and make out even better than I would have been before!

Here's to hoping my debt doesn't consume me!!

Tell me about your college debt story? Are you in repayment yet? Has that been difficult to handle? Did you make it out of college without debt? I'd love to hear from you!!!

Thanks for reading.

~Amanda

Changes.

Thinking about this summer has left me wishing that it would never end. I know I have to go back to the real world, but I'm honestly scared shitless. The past three nights I've laid awake, listening to Scott snoring thinking about the next 2 years of my life. Graduate school, something that I can't say I've always wanted, but something I've been wanting ever since I realized what I wanted to do. I'm a little bummed that I'm not venturing into a PhD program, just to stick it out for the next 5-7 years, but I'm also nervous and worried about all the 'what ifs'. I have all these questions about master's theses, being the best student that I can be, teaching next semester, where the parking structure is, what textbooks do I need, do I have a real chance of continuing and going on to the PhD program, can I have a life outside of this program, can I get married during this program, can I start a family in this program, do I have what it takes? I mean I just don't know what I'm getting into, and I hope I have what it takes. All of this has me overwhelmed and thinking about my personal statement, something that I hated because it was so limiting, all of these rules about what you should and shouldn't say, that always had me questioning, "Isn't this about me? Shouldn't this be an honest depiction of what I want and why graduate school is a part of that?" So last night, in my sleep, I wrote a new personal statement, one that I wanted to write here for all to read, to know what's really inside of my heart and head... Here goes nothing...

Thinking about writing a personal statement, I had a list of no-nos inside of my head. Don't say you want to practice, don't say you want to help people, make it interesting, but don't give too much away, this all makes me want to call a big BS on the entire thing. If you, Mr or Mrs. admissions advisor at clinical psychology program, want a script, I could give you that, but I won't. Why? Because I like to think I am an individual, and all these no-nos are exactly what I wish to write about, so maybe I'm a rebel, or I'm just asking to be rejected, but I think that I'm honest. Graduate school is scary, I'm afraid of it and if I could avoid the entire thing, I just might, but I need it for my future. Sure I could work somewhere and have a different life, but I wouldn't be truly happy with it because I have goals and dreams for my future that are in reach, not like those dreams of being a pop star or famous athlete, these ones are really here and I am able to achieve them. My dream is to be a psychologist and not only that, but to eventually have a private practice. You see, when I was in college, I went through some turmoil wondering what I wanted to do with my life. I started college as a musical theater major thinking life would be a ball if I could perform on the stage and be famous and rich, but then the real world set in along with a sense of purpose and I decided to try something else. I was set on being a lawyer and thought that a psychology major would fit that well because I could really get into the head of others, then I realized I wasn't cut out for Torts. Next, I thought, 'Hmmm, well I like psychology, why not psychiatry', with some research, I quickly shut that one down, I have other life goals beside spending the next 12 years in school. Finally, I researched what I could do with a psychology degree, and it turns out, basically all roads lead to more education. I decided to do some extracurriculars, tried working with underprivaledged kids, realized I didn't enjoy it, but I did find my niche in trauma patients in the form of rape victims, and then working on a suicide hotline, I got a taste for the helping people part. The phone is so limiting and I want to be someone to help others help themselves. I want to provide therapy to those people who really need it and to make them realize that they are worth my time. I think my biggest goal, something that won't happen right out of graduate school is to have a thriving private practice. Not only that, but to have a weekly pro-bono day of treatment. This is because I've talked to those people who really need help, and can't get it because they are limited by finances, and they have no where to turn. I want to be that person that helps the single mother of 3, who could never go to therapy because she has chooses feeding her children every day over helping herself, or the man who's been rejected by the VA because they won't recognize his PTSD. I want to help those people.  Sure, I could easily go work for some non-for-profit, but I've seen the jaded therapists there because they've been underappreciated, and I don't want that for me. Now I know, I should have told you about how much I love research and how that is where my future lies, but it isn't, and it wouldn't be true. I do enjoy research, a good data set can make me salivate, and it is a extraordinary feeling to have significant results or to have a horde of people surrounding you presentation at a conference, but it is not my passion. I enjoy it, I'm good at it and I know it will be a part of my graduate experience, but not when I get into the workforce. I'm not going to lie to you, or write about something that isn't true, but if you get to know me, you'll see that passion I have shine through. I like to think and hope that this personal statement goes to the top of the list because its unique, honest, and brave. Maybe it will and maybe it won't, but at the very least, I've told my story. Not the cookie-cutter story I've been told to write. Mine.


There you have it.

Thanks for reading.

~Amanda

I'm back!

Hey Everyone!

So I've been thinking about this blog and what I could possibly write about right now. I'm not really doing anything... short of cooking dinner and watching One Tree Hill on Netflix, so what do I write about? And now, I finally have an idea! 

FASHION!

It may not seem incredibly important to some, but this happens to be a real issue for me, as a twenty-two year old woman in transition. I am going from college to graduate school, where I have a teaching position. In college, I basically lived in yoga and sweatpants, as do most students when passing those exams are more important than waking up early to do your hair. But now, I want things to be different. I want to be taken seriously, especially because I could have students in my class that are the same age or even older than me. I want to command authority and professionalism, and I want to look good doing it. 

Now the business suit is good, and I have 2 of them for job interviews and such, however, they seem a little overly formal to me, and I'd like to find a happy medium.

So I made a list when I went shopping with my mom for my birthday last weekend. And here it is...

1. Dark jeans
2. Navy Blazer
3. Pencil Skirts
4. Nude Pumps
5. Black flat boots
6. Brown Flat boots
7. Flats
8. Cardigans
9. Scarves
10. Nice tops

And then I went shopping. Some of my favorite purchases are ones, I'd love to show all of you! So I'm going to post some photos!

• A Cute top that goes well with jeans or dress pants

http://www.maurices.com/product/index.jsp?expcsl=1098695%7C%7C&productId=20255366

• Sexy, but comfortable, nude pumps

http://www.maurices.com/product/index.jsp?expcsl=1106975%7C%7C&productId=18971716

• A Great flowy skirt, something  different than the typical pencil skirt

http://www.maurices.com/product/index.jsp?expcsl=1082313%7C%7C&productId=11222858

• A Cute Blazer (Not Navy, but slightly patterned, and less structured than a suit jacket)

http://www.lanebryant.com/catalog/search.cmd?form_state=searchForm&x=-1132&y=-53&keyword=ponte

• JEANS!!!

http://www.ae.com/web/browse/product.jsp?productId=1437_8305_939&catId=cat20110

http://www.ae.com/web/browse/product.jsp?productId=1435_8147_903&catId=cat20112

• Cardigans

http://www.ae.com/web/search/index.jsp?Ntt=1340-6033

It wouldn't let me get a better picture of this!
http://www.hm.com/us/product/08406?article=08406-E

• Cute Flats

http://www.ae.com/web/browse/product.jsp?productId=0419_2933_107

I'm still searching for some boots, and a few extra pieces, however, I have a ton of ideas from another blog that I found through pinterest. I'm giving you a link to the outfits page of my own pinterest!

Happy Pinning!                                 http://pinterest.com/wcsinger13/cute-outfits/

Also, check out the other 2 blogs today because I've got some cool crafts, and some yummy food ideas for you!

~Amanda

It's been an even longer while!

I know it's been some time since I have posted on this blog and that's because I just got back from vacation with my family in Gatlinburg. I had a lot of fun, and I promise I'm going to get back into the swing of blogging. At this time, I'm going to be pretty busy for the next week with some visitors and a birthday! (Mine)

So anyway, I'll get back on next week, maybe with something more interesting!


Any Ideas?!

BTW - Keep a look out on my Craft blog, as August is Craft month! Now I don't have anything yet, but I will starting next week also.

Thanks for reading!

~Amanda

It's been a while!

Hey there! 

I'm back from my internet-less vacation, and I must admit I am slightly, er, highly addicted to technology, specifically internet. It was somewhat torturous once I used all of my data on my cell phone. However, what's past is past and now I have internet again and can once again blog to my hearts content! 

Update: 

We FINALLY got power, and the apartment is a balmy 76 degrees. :)

I'm trying to decide what to write about... This week has been an interesting roller coaster of fun. Learning a new city, and unpack boxes upon boxes to make this new place our home. I say that last part with utter excitement... 'Our Home' couldn't be a more truthful description of this new apartment. Scott and I have been living together for about a year now, but this is the first time it's really felt like our's. We're shopping for furniture together, spending time together before he goes to work and really just making an effort to make this place look and feel nice and homey, and that feeling is amazing. I cannot wait until we finally have a couch, and have all the boxes unpacked!

So I have been taking pictures of all the restaurants we've been eating at, and this post I want to discuss. This is especially great if you are going to be in the Ann Arbor/Ypsilanti area and want some recommendations!

1. Sidetrack Bar and Grill              http://www.sidetrackbarandgrill.com/

• We went here on our first night out with my parents and some of Scott's family. This place was hopping, literally full of people. They had a number of accolades and a typical burger and fry menu.
• Food took a long time to come out, but that was probably because it was a packed house that night. As a result, the food was slightly cold by the time it got to us, but it was delicious.
• Cool Extra: You can season your french fries special! They were yummy!

2. The Bomber Restaurant                                 http://www.bomberrestaurant.net/

• This little hole in the wall was known for their 'Bomber Breakfast', a whopping meal with 4 eggs, 1 pound of break fast meat and 1 pound of hashbrowns... What do you know, Scott had to take on this challenge. 

• I looooved the hashbrowns! The flavor was amazing, and I cannot wait to come back here! 

3. Aubree's Pizzeria and Grill                 http://www.aubrees.com/

• As you can see we got a deep dish meat lovers pizza and it was amazing. The cheese bread is yummy and our waitress was really nice and accommodating
• Cool Extra: Flavor your pizza crust!! OMG Delicious and awesome. We got ours half and half because it wasn't that busy on a Sunday at 5pm, but sooo good.  

There you have it... Three places to try in Ypsilanti/Ann Arbor area. Enjoy!

~Amanda

The Struggles of Moving

You know, as far as moving goes, I'd say we did everything right. We called all of our major utilities, changed our address, and took care of all the major things, and still things have gone wrong.

Now I understand that things go wrong, but it seems a major issue for us as we are now into day 3 of our problems. 

Electricity

Now way back when I was in high school, there was a huge wind storm, which cause most of the city to lose power for 1-3 weeks. This was somewhat miserable, but it was September, and we were able to make it work. This was not the current problem, however, our problem is a singular issue.

The Issue

The issue spawns from the previous tenant, and their irresponsible behavior of not canceling their electric and not continuing to pay the bill. Due to their delinquent account, the power was shut off by the electric company. The apartment complex, did not take the necessary steps to ensure that the power was switched back into their name, since the tenants have been out of the apartment for over 2 months. Finally, when our power was supposed to be on, it wasn't. So here we are, at some McDonald's in Michigan enjoying the internet and air conditioning instead of unpacking. When the issue was brought to our attention, we called the company and have been given the run around and its now Monday and we won't have power until maybe 4:30pm... Hopefully, we don't have to sleep in the heat again tonight.


Frustration and tension is high. Hopefully, this is just a bad start to a wonderful adventure. 

Next Post will be about the wonderful food places we have found as a result of our powerless apartment.

~Amanda

Rainbow Vodka Slush

I was unsure as to whether I should post this in the Weekly Recipe section or not, because it's hardly food, so I decided to post it here. I was wandering through the maze that is Pinterest and I found this pin that took me to the blog of Ramlings from the Sunshine State, which showed me how to make this awesome rainbow slush in a triffle bowl with freeze pops. So I decided to test it out, and post my experience on my blog. Now the original instructions were made for a child's birthday party, however, I decided to add some 'adult' ingredients and I'll be serving this at Scott and I's going away party next week! 

To View the Original instructions, click above, I want to give credit to the master mind in this instance!

So I started with 100 Freeze Pops, and put them into bowls. I had 6 different colors and they were distributed fairly evenly. I originally had frozen them when I bought them, but I realized after the fact, that it may have been easier to leave them unfrozen and pour them in one at a time and freeze each layer, in any case, I had to let them thaw in the first place so I should have just left them liquid. I added one shot of Smirnoff's Melon flavored vodka, its just something I got on sale and I didn't feel like going out to buy rum.

I started off with the grape flavor, and I didn't like how chunky it seemed to be, plus I couldn't use all of it, there was too much. So like any smart mind, I decided to let it melt completely so it wouldn't be so chunky, and then I became impatient and put it in the Magic Bullet, and blended it all into a very soft slushie.

As you can see, I did that for the pink flavor too until Scott said that was a waste of time because I still had to wait for the grape to freeze. So anyway, I proceeded to put the grape liquid into the freezer and let it completely freeze, which takes a while.

In the mean time, my other flavors were sitting out, just melting.

Next, I added the pink and then the green and all was good until I became overly impatient with the orange. I poured the orange on top of the green before the green was completely frozen through and the orange somehow put a hole in the green and it immersed itself into the pink and purple, so I don't think I'll be seeing the orange. I know they say patience is a virtue, but damn I just wanted it to be finished now!

Anywho, I proceeded to add the red because I wanted light and dark colors alternating and orange screwed me over, finally, topping the rainbow with the lovely red. So now it will just sit in my freezer for a couple of days until my party. But it did make me think of how to change this recipe to fit holidays. Think, a red, white and blue one, with Kamakazi shots, I mean seriously?! YUM! Or a green and red one for Christmas, oooh and a orange and black one for Halloween. I think it could be fairly easy to make, even without freeze pops, instead maybe Kool-Aid? In any case, this gives me some ideas!!! And I LOOOVE ideas!

So all in all, the rainbow slush turned out quite nicely, I'm just going to leave it out for about an hour before the party so it can get a nice slush going.

A Few Changes to make from the original blog post.

• The Freeze Pop can be unfrozen, this might save some time.
• Add alcohol, I mean this is obvious.
• I made the freeze pop completely melted instead of chunky, this might change the quality.

Don't forget to be PATIENT!

UPDATE!!!!!

So I made the slush, but unfortunately realized how difficult it was when we finally sat it out to drink. 

1. The slush was too solid to make a slush.
2. We waited for hours for it to even be soft enough to put into a glass.
3. As it melted, it all turned a dark purple.
4. Didn't look as cool as expected.
5. The trifle leaked tons of condensation.

The saddest thing for me was my high expectations, but failed attempt I might try to follow the future directions more closely, but I might also leave this idea at home. 

~Amanda

Getting Ready for the Big Move

Its almost here, the big move to Michigan. It's weird that I'm not really nervous about it, just ready to finish this move. I've looked at all the wonderful moving ideas, but I'm just not excited to try them myself... Here's a cool little product though... Space bags. Now I know you've heard of them, these bags that are vacuum sealed, but they really are amazing. I got these ones below for a good deal and they are just amazing... We have put our pillows, and blankets and coats in these bags... and they just suck all the air out and its super flat! They can be expensive, but I shopped around and got a great deal on Amazon.com.

That is 6 pillows in a Jumbo bag. The decorative pillows in our extra bedroom were a perfect candidate for this wonder Space bag experiment and I am so happy that I bought them! I highly recommend them for moving, and even storage!

Blog Writing Can Be Discouraging.

So, I'm writing a blog and I just want people to read it, to be interested in it. I realize now how difficult it is to expect that. To advertise this on Facebook is one thing, then Pinterest, hoping that I'll gain a tiny following or something. I guess, its early, but I just want comments, and readers. Just more!

Wow, I sounds somewhat pitiful, but it's the truth and I'm sure those of you who have written a blog in the past know hoe discouraging it can be when you never have a comment or anything. I just have to believe that eventually this will get a following. In any case, I don't have much to say today.

Have a Happy weekend!!!

I'm going to a pottery painting place tomorrow and I am going to be making a tile mirror. I will be sure to post pictures next week when I pick it up!

Thanks for reading

~Amanda

New Pinterest Button

Hey Everyone!

So I've now added a Pin It! Button to all photos, so if you see something you'd like to pin to your Pinterest board, go for it!

This is a super exciting addition to my blog, so please take advantage of it! For instance, this picture Its a wonderful cake I made for Scott's birthday because he loves Batman!

I'll be showing you all how to make this delicious Chocolate Peanut Butter Cake in the Recipe of the Week! 

Enjoy!

~Amanda

A New Look!

So I've been busy at work with Amy making our blog really look awesome! At the top of the page, you'll see 4 tabs, and you can get to some other posts that way.

Home: This will take you back to our original homepage, there isn't much here, but its the main page with links to our blogs.

Amy: This will take you to Amy's page, complete with all of her posts.

Weekly Recipes: Remember last week when I posted that yummy dish. Well, now all Thursday recipes will be at that new page. Enjoy!

Crafty Crafts: Things like that summer wreath will be here.

This page is going to be used as a chat/blog area for relationships, and daily thoughts. I think this will make it easier to get around, and I can have fun with the background! Check out those Jelly Beans!

In Other News!

Today I wanted to discuss the long-term serious relationship. If you're in one now, have been in one in the past, or just want to know what to expect, read on!

So Scott and I have been together about a year and a half and it has been a complete whirlwind. It was like, the minute we started dating, I knew, and so did he. (What did I know?) Well, thank you for asking, I knew he was 'the one' oh yes, the elusive one. :) He made everything better, and truly completed me from day 1. I know that to some nay-sayers, 1.5 years isn't that long, or long enough or whatever to be giving advice on the long-term relationships, however, that hardly matters because for me, 4 months was long enough. Long enough for me to know what I want.

Scott and I have been living together for almost a year now, and it has been phenomenal. This is something that could really be hit or miss for some couples, a breaking point for instance, but for us, it strengthen and matured our relationship. I mean, look where we are now, about to move across state lines together, and not concerned at all about our health as a couple.

That being said, we had some rough patches, what do you expect? I think everyone goes through some moments that make you stronger as a couple. Here are some things you may have battled with, or can expect to battle with, things that when they were happening, I wanted to know if they were normal and why they were happening, so listen up!

• Constant Butting Heads: Now Amy can attest to this because for the first 3 months of our relationship, we argued once a week. About stupid things, and we never stayed mad for long, but it drove me crazy. I didn't expect it to be this way, and this is something that not all couples experience, but because we were both such strong-willed people, we needed to do this so we could 'test the boundaries'. I mean I would never want to be with a man who didn't stand up to me and fight for what they want... this is important to me in the relationship, and it certainly equaled out, and we hardly ever fight now.
• Discussing taking the next step... Moving In: So for us, our move was somewhat unplanned until the last minute. My senior year roommate bailed on me right before we were signing a lease, and there was literally only two options left, live alone or move in with Scott. At first, I was really against this because I didn't think we had been dating that long, and that if it went sour, we'd be stuck in a lease together. This stressed me out, and I just didn't want to take that risk. Then again, financially, I was not in the best place, and moving in with Scott would lessen the rent, and we practically stayed with each other every night anyway. So we talked about this, and took the plunge. While a risky move, it worked out fabulously, and it is because we had a stable relationship full of communication.
• Learning to Live with your significant other: Now I didn't have to go through the ordeal of not being a lady in front of Scott because I never held back in the relationship. The first night we hung out, I remember being in my bedroom changing and I decided right there that I wasn't going to pretend to be someone that I wasn't, and that meant there weren't surprising personality traits he hadn't seen before. The biggest issue we experienced was learning how to be respectful of each other's living preferences. For example: It drives Scott crazy if damp towels are left on the floor, or if the sponge for the dishes is left in the sink, and so I made the necessary changes to make living better for the both of us, although it was a difficult adjustment.
• Romance: This is a BIG one for me and it still sometimes is. I think the thing is that our relationship has evolved so going on dates, and being romantic has kind of fallen to the wayside. That might be okay for some, but I love the romance, going on dates, getting dressed up, getting out of the house, nice gestures, just things that show affection and love. I'd like to think I do that for Scott more often than he does it for me, but at one point it was a big problem in our relationship because I felt like the effort that was made in the beginning of the relationship was gone, and devoted to something else that seemed more important than me. It was hard, and it kind of ebbs and flows, sometime its real romantic, and other times its certainly lacking. I try to be less expecting of it, and I talk to Scott when I'm feeling down about this and he listens and tries to make me feel more appreciated.

I think relationships take work, and its the work you do that makes it all worth it. Here's to the future with Scott, it looks bright as ever.

~Amanda

Goals for the next School Year!!!

Okay, so I have been pestering and pestering Amy to make a post on here... maybe she doesn't have anything on her mind, or maybe she's just busy... I know she just started a new job and that can be taxing... not to mention celebrating her 24th birthday last week. So we'll give her a break and just know she'll post on here soon!

Today I wanted to go over some goals I have for myself for this next school year. New school, new impressions, new jobs. As a graduate student, I want to put my best foot forward, presenting myself professionally, and practically. I'm going to be teaching some undergraduate course, and I don't want to look like a student, but like an adult. Therefore, my goals will be formed for that purpose as well as some others!

• Dress with poise - During my time at Miami, I gradually became more and more lazy about my clothing choices. I'd rock the sweatpants and yoga pants, and hoodies all day everyday. This is not the image I'd like to portray. I want to look nice all the time, so that is my first goal for the upcoming school year... Plus, when you look good, you feel good too!
• Really Push Myself - My ultimate educational goal  is to get my PhD in Clinical Psychology. In order to do that, I need to work harder than ever before. Really pushing myself to do the work. I was moderately successful in my undergraduate, with a B average or so, but I know that if I had read and studied, I could have gotten better grades, and been more successful. I am aware of my capabilities, and I need to do the best. Not better, but the best. I need to work hard in research, get some things published, complete a master's thesis, and be a student that all the professors want to teach. That is who I need to be, and who I can be.
• Be Healthier - This goes along with how I dress, when I gained weight, I avoided the jeans for the comfy yoga pants because they fit better, but no more. I'll rock the cutest jeans, and look better when I'm healthier. Plus, if I get engaged in the next year, I'll need to be on a good start so I look amazing in those photos and that white dress. 
• Have a Schedule - I love a set schedule, and I had one all through college, but I'm talking about sleeping at the same time every night, going to bed relatively early, which will be easier since Scott is going to be waking up super early. But if I wake up early enough, I can go to the gym in the apartment complex before class, and feel refreshed. I want to pack my lunches and make dinner on the nights that I'm home before 8pm. 

Those are the biggest goals for me. I just need to be the person I know I can be... and the person I know I am inside. Sometimes I just get lazy, and things that should be important fall between the cracks because there are other things I need to do, more than the things I want to do... well I'm making this a priority and not just a want, but a need for a better life!

~Amanda